SEEEEXXX PLEASE
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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