i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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