Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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