But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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