His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
