god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
