Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
