Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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