i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
