I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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