Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
