Porn is love you can see.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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