Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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