she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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