I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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