Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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