when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
