I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
