I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
