fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
