man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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