Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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