I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
