so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
