Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
