Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
