its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
