i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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