Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
