You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
