I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
