I look better un-naked...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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