so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
