Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
