woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
