i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
