Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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