i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
