Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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