just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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