Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I will be naked everywhere
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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