Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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