just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
