Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
