Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
