What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
