"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Drunk is a universal language darling
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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