At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
