Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
