One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
