he told me I talked like a deaf person
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
