will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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