Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize